BATHTUB DRAMA
She cries. She gasps.
She smiles. She sighs.
She's happy or sad, she doesn't know.
But holding on tight, she's ready to go.
The shiny smooth blade is calling her name;
She's fed up with this shit, with these people, and this pain.
Slowly it drags from her ankles, to her wrist, and she relaxs her head.
Her blood now breathing oxygen turns from blue to red.
When its all over she lays there so still;
The water is warm as the blood starts to spill.
Her aches and pains, they all drift away.
Her troubles her worries, they all float a stray.
Finally she feels content and at peace.
Her eyes close softly with complacent relief.
It's finally done. Its done and its over.
Fuck luck, and fuck the four leaf clover.
Wondering if its really what she wanted. Well she's about to find out.
But now she floats up from her body, her soul drifting delicately about.
She sighs.
She smiles.
She gasps.
She cries.
TRUST
You put a knife in my heart and its tearing me apart,
From my chest to my toes i can't let go.
You said it wouldn't hurt and i believed you,
Trust is a fucked up thing cause it's rarely the truth.
See the irony? Feel the pain?
THE SUN
The sun; it shines everyday. Even if its hidden by clouds, even if its nighttime,
it's shining. Shining on someone else, but still reflecting its shine onto us.
Even if you can't see it you know its there. Well, you trust it's there.
Love should be like that.
What if the sun decided not to come up tommorrow?
Frozen in an ice pool of lonliness, with no glowing warmth to cheer you up.
And just like that, you fall out of love.
WORTH
I thought the time we had was priceless.
Turns out it cost me more then i ever wanted to pay.
When the going gets tough, the weak fall asleep.
You just keep nodding off.
You can try to escape in a dillusional dream,
but reality awaits you no matter what you do.
I just wanted to see you smile even if it makes me frown.
I'll always love you,
but i don't think i like you anymore.
You used to make me cry.
I don't care enough to cry anymore.
BLISS
Simple bliss comes not from knowing what you want to do,
but enjoying what you are doing at the moment.
The suculent pleasures of life come from ones own perspective of the situation at hand.
Isn't it enough to just be happy?
MATCHMAKER
I try to make you happy even if it makes me cry.
I thought you were grateful, you acted it at first.
But that must have been to keep me around to finish the job.
Because where i used to help you and carry you along,
you now walk on your own. I'm invisible to you.
You drift off basking in what i worked to get you.
Now you can do it yourself, you don't need me.
I don't matter.
You left me far behind, standing alone.
Words don't express what i want to say,
but don't actions speak louder anyway?
When i try to talk to you that's when i know you could care less.
It looks like you are listening but your mind is clearly somewhere else.
You can't see through your happiness to see to my pain.
Getting through is useless so i'll just sit here and complain.
Isn't it enough to just look and act happy?
Easily done on the surface, but inside there's an empty void.
All night i dream about the day, but when the day actually comes its never the same.
When will it be my turn to move from this path?
Always the matchmaker, never the match.
AGAIN
Putty in your hands
here i am again
just last week i was complete
and here i am again
only you can disrupt the calmest of lakes
with just one touch
deny it i will
but i long for it so much.
and here i am again.
SPINNING
Drifting in like a wind no one predicted.
Chained and contained without a choice.
Now twisting and swirling with confusion.
Can't stand to see you sad,
though thats what i am.
Now i can't imagine my world without you in it.
Locked in an unbreakable chain
I need you to need me.
i'm addicted. why can't this be mutual?
I'm out of control, i can't describe how i feel.
If i let go, will you grab the wheel?
Running out of breath
frusteration envelopes me.
I lie still but have motion sickness.
Only you.
Still spinning.
SAVE ME
Extend your arms and hold me tighter then gravity can.
Don't let go till the world comes to an end.
I can't do this alone, I won't.
Carry me. Father me.
Fill me with your knowledge
Pacify me with your kindness
Adore me with your charm
Don't look away,
watch me
Don't close your eyes,
see me.
Don't loose your grip,
hold me.
Don't get distracted,
save me.
SO CALM & SO STILL
Finally upon this empty quiet hill,
we made it to the place, so calm and so still.
Alone, so alone, just us two.
I'll never forget this peaceful day,
for now i'll forgive you and let the past lay.
No longer can i take it
i grab your subtle neck.
Holding you close
give you a soft subtle peck.
I laugh for fun
you gasp to haunt.
this is more then i could ever want.
Smiling, laughing, gasping.
I pray that this is everylasting.
Now gently you fall,
you fall and you lay.
Without haste, i begin right away.
I start out slow, but at times move fast.
fuck everything we had in the past.
Smiling and weeping, i stare into your eyes.
now the same shaded color as the clouds in the skies.
With one last push i finish it off.
I hear you give up, with one last little cough.
Once more we sit here,
so calm and so still
here in the shade
just me and you
in your freshly dug grave.
R.I.P.
TIME
Time doesn't stop, always a step behind you
nipping at your heels
constantly reminding you its running out.
Soon we'll all just be at a dead stop
whether we're ready or not
no time left. nothing.
Alone in a grave made just for you,
A cemetary of so many others trapped there too.
Alone.
The same things you enjoy,
the ones that make time go faster.
the things that make you smile,
those could be the very things that make the
ticks of your clock desist.
We work so hard for the future,
working our butts off
just to inevitably end up the same as everyone else.
cold. alone. and dead.
everyone buried right next to eachother,
in their own seprate box.
alone.
ONE MORE
One more time and this will all go away.
One more time and it will all be okay.
But what to say to you?
There's no excuse for having no excuse.
A reason why i cry; an explanation for all my aggravation;
Wouldn't that be nice.
I need some relief, even if it's brief.
But what to say to you?
There's no reason for having no reason.
Life just looks great
in a comotose state.
The look on your face, along with everything else
i will try to erase.
One more time and.... ahhh....
Gotta kill the pain, let only the numbness remain.
I'd rather feel nothing then the way i feel now.
Oh but what to say to you?
I just can't do this on my own,
though i see you there, i feel so alone.
One more time and everything disappears.
Calmness and comfort replace all my tears.
Yes thats what i'll say to you.
Just this one more time and..... ...... ....
who cares...
its all through.
SUCUBUS
You get their attention and you hold it tight.
you rock their world all through the night.
In the morning you leave with their heart and their wallet.
They are now under your spell,
and love is what they'll call it.
When you kiss them you breathe in their soul.
They feel so weak they don't think they can let go.
They can't stop thinking how
they've found something so great,
as you go out and hook your next sappy bait.
Fill them with false happiness as you slowly destroy them.
Don't slip up and let them see the demons inside,
For you are a sucubus-- full of evil and pride.
--Beauty is only skin deep
Ugly is to the bone.
Evil is to the core. --
SEED
A seed planted by no fault of your own.
Lay there in the dark, cold, underground.
Wondering if life will ever get better.
Sad and alone, and dark... so dark.
Feeling the moisture drain on you every so often,
wondering if it will ever lead to anything better.
Then, one day, it does.
You spring up, you bust through the dirt,
you see the sun.
The sun smiles on you and gives you warmth.
You grow big, curl around and around, take shape, build character.
Grow into a tree, and let your branches stretch long and shade others.
Then, by no fault of your own, get cut down.
Loose your life as a tree so you can be used as paper.
Used as shade, then as paper.
You had your downs, and you had your ups...
But how much of your life was actually for you?
DREAMS
In my head, i'm dancing, i'm floating.
i'm dreaming.
Up in the air, the world looks so small.
Up in my head, there's no problems at all.
The world looks so perfect, up in my head.
Everything you say, its all just so right.
The fabulous job and parties everynight.
Then i wake up.
Why must reality always have the last laugh?
I guess false hope is better then no hope at all.
MUSICIAN
Ciggarrettes and sillouttes; ashes to dust.
Is it love, or is it just lust?
The heart beats hard against the chest
as the hand beats hard against the drum.
You blow me away, so now suck me in close.
I'll sing you your thoughts if you'll mend my soul.
I'll tickly your brain if you'll massage my heart.
Just don't leave. Keep my shadow close to yours.
ONE DAY
Waiting for one day.
THis one day when all of my dreams will come true.
The one day i know now such thing as sadness.
The one day I smile so much my face hurts.
The one day you look and me and say
this is it... this is real.
The one day I fly high above all else.
The one day i don't feel i need to get high.
The one day my adrenaline comes with no fear.
The one day when all the planets align
and the stars spell out:
YOU HAVE ARRIVED,
WELCOME TO PURE HAPPINESS.
Ecstasy holds no candle to this day.
Take my hand and we'll soar.
So hard to count down the days to an unexpected date.
But i'll wait and endure everything that comes my way
till the day i can look back on all the shit
and honestly, truly, say:
"This was SO worth it."
One day problems cease to exsist.
Hard times are unheard of.
All questions answered, no one ever asks "why?"
This one day all fears are faced and conquered.
All lessons learned.
One day
Anything will be possible.
STRIP DOWN
What you see is what you get.
Lay all the cards face up on the table.
Strip off the facade and dance in the honesty
and the freedom, of the true you.
Leave all the deceptions at home,
they're no good here.
I believe what you say if you believe it too.
Breathe in the truth and exhale the happiness.
Inhale my love and exhale the intensity of how real it is!
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