Oh boy.

Sitting there watching tv i know what he is thinking. Two white russians later, we're both only fake--caring whats on the tv. He keeps looking at me from the corner of his eye and i just keep pretending that i can't see it. Then he goes in for it. Without even saying anything he puts his hand on my thigh, and before it has time to register, he leans in and kisses me. I let it happen because, of course, it feels good. We kiss. We kiss and we kiss and we kiss... and it feels good. So i close my eyes. I close my eyes, and i don't necessarily pretend that he is someone else, but i don't really think about who he is, but how it feels to touch, and rub, and kiss. I know I should stop it... i even suggest we stop. But of course, it doesn't happen. He suggests going to his room. I say no. but he persists, so of course i follow. I've done it again. oops. Please don't fall in love with me. And for your own hearts sake, i wouldn't recommend falling in like with me either.

~2005